Finding My Way

Perhaps I am the only one, but have you ever had a moment in your fitness journey when you wonder, "WHY am I doing this?"

I know working out is good for me physically.
I know if I keep going I will get beter, faster and stronger.
I know being leaner is better for my heart and my self-esteem.

I know all these things and more, but here is the knowledge I'm having issues with:

I know there is no end to this journey.
I know being consistent is key to reaching my goals.
I know the weight will creep back on if I don't workout and eat healthier.
I know my priorities have changed as my kids have gotten older.
I know I need to find a friend, bond, community where I am working out or I won't go.

And knowing is half the battle right?

Anyway, I'm trying out a new place and so far everyone seems really nice, but everything still feels wrong.

Maybe it is because I am about the slowest person on the board every wod.
Maybe it is because I miss my old gym and my friends.
Maybe it is because this stuff is still hard and kicks my ass even though I have been doing it for 2.5 years.
Maybe it is because my weight and body fat are not where I want them to be.
Maybe it is just me...maybe I have changed and not for the better.

I feel like I want to have an "it's me, not you" talk with Crossfit, and sadly, in my heart, I know it really IS me that is the problem!

Still finding my way, and hoping to get back that spark, that love, that obsession with Crossfit I had when I started.....or if not that youthful infatuation, a sane, mature love that will take me through the years.

MM