CrossFit MoMMy: Bigger Picture

After a particularly hard work out, a dear friend wondered aloud, “Why do we do this to ourselves?”

Usually I’d have some pithy answer handy, that would make us both laugh, but I had nothing. I felt tired, sore and broken…both mentally and physically. I gave her a half-hearted smile and said, “Because it is better than the alternative?” (The alternative meant feeling old, unhealthy and stagnant.) I’d lived the alternative most of my life and had no plans to go back, but at that moment, I was beginning to question my future with CrossFit.

“Why was I doing this to myself?”

I thought on this question long and hard and it took me several weeks to find the answer. I made a list of pros and cons and in the end; I had to strip my experience of both to see what was left. For me the “bad” was my ego and that inner-voice telling me I suck, it was the whiteboard, the scrapes, rips and bruises, and the “good” was a great group of CrossFit friends and a stronger, healthier body.

But what if I removed the “good”, would I still want to participate?

In the end the simplified answer was, “Yes, because I enjoy it.” Plain and simple, I enjoy the challenge and being fit helps me enjoy the rest of my life more. But I won’t lie, having people around who support me makes the experience a helluva lot better. In fact, some days it is all that gets me through the door.

I’ve also made a point to track my progress better and set attainable goals. And let me tell ya, there is nothing better than reaching a goal you have worked your tail off to achieve. It took me nearly 16 months of ring rows, jumping pull-ups, big bands, small bands and one teeny, tiny band to get my unassisted pull-ups. But when it happened, I was so proud I jumped around the gym like a fool!

However, after my initial joy, I got a little quiet, a little embarrassed even. I mean it took me 16 months to do something others were doing in 4 months.

What did I have to be so proud of?

The next time I was in the gym, I grabbed the pull-up bar with silent excitement and did another pull-up. I was doing the happy dance in my mind and then something nice happened, a small sort of kindness that finally cleared my head. Someone I’d been working out with for months, someone I looked up to, she noticed too...she knew I’d been working on pull-ups forever and she let me know how happy she was for me. That small act of kindness lifted my spirits and nearly broke my heart at the same time. It was just what I needed.

So, to finally answer your question, my dear friend, “Why do we do this to ourselves?”

Because it IS better than the alternative and if you look at your experience honestly, you already know the answer. When the workout kicks your behind and you feel like you want to quit, you won’t and I will be happy for you and in that crazy, scary, wonderful CrossFit sort of way, you enjoy the challenge too.

Going strong and I am not done yet,
MM

PS: Take photos, write journals and chart your progress diligently. These things have helped me stay on track and motivated over the long haul.